The Principles & Procedures
of Scientific Classroom Management

by

Friedrich Stachelhaut von Entpelzer
B.S. Ph.G., ABCD and Cetera.

RETURN
edited 4/20/14

Principles & Procedures

1. If the classroom measure of presentism is 0, management requisiteness is minimized.

2. If the class is antiubiquitous, effectuate aperturation, if ingressive impediment exists.

3. Effectuate student ingress.

4. When class presentism is maximized, initiate control treatments.

5. Prescribe initiation of student engagement with assignment.

6. Goal-minimizing behavior will be reoriented and reshaped.

7. Persistent deviation-pursuing behavior will elicit controller vocal perturbation.

8. Non-extinguished norm-subversion will increase measure of egression necessity.

9. In sanctioning environments gluteal pabulation may be effectuated.

10. Therefore student achievement will be optimized.

Technical Definitions

Egression

Outward movement through an aperture

Gluteal

Pertaining to the gluteus maximus

Ingress(ive)

Apertureal Throughput (TA) that increases Presentism: dP = k*dTA, k>1

Pabulation

Application to fatigue of short, successive strokes with hand or ruler

Presentism

Measure of compartment fullness: given by body count: dP = f(dN)

Requisiteness

Variable that is inversely proportional to optionality, dR = k/dO, k>1

Sanctioning

Condition that reduces probability of critical reevaluation of treatment:
d
p(CT) = g(-dS)

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